Something New to Blog About

Infertility.

Yep. I said it. The dreaded word that no couple ever wants to hear.

Here is the long version. **TMI Warning**


Almost 10 months ago when Todd deployed I decided to give my body a break from all medications, namely birth control pills. For 6 months my body did absolutely nothing, I had no period. I did not ovulate. (I had been doing Ovulation Prediction Kits so by the time I went to the doctor I'd at least know that) I got to the point where I knew something wasn't right so I went to the base OBGYN to start trying to find some answers. About 15 blood tests and one "Progesterone Challenge" (Take progesterone for 7 day to induce a period. No response). I still had no answers and was referred off base to an Infertility Specialist OBGYN named Dr. Diehl as well as a Reproductive Endocrinologist in Denver named Dr. Smith. Dr. Diehl consults with Dr. Smith so that time traveling to Denver is kept at a minimum. Dr. Diehl looks overall my labs and tests and basically told me in May that the only way Todd and I would ever have children is through fertility treatments or Invetrofertilization (IVF). My official diagnosis teeters somewhere between Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and "Unexplained". The problem being that I have no clinical blood work or findings to confirm PCOS but I do have some, but not all of the signs and symptoms. Dr. Diehl then decides he wants to start one round of treatment, on Clomid, and do some more testing to see how I respond. I have to tell Todd all of this via Skype as he is still deployed and at that time we decided we still weren't ready for kids or for the stress that infertility treatments would bring (schedules, counting days, different hormone meds, endless doctors appointments,etc) We leave it at "we'll do the 1 round, see where we are, and wait until we're ready".

Flash forward to August when "round 1 begins".... BTW- Clomid is an evil, evil drug that causes SEVERE bloating, mood swings and hot flashes like a 60 year old going through Menopause. HATED. IT.

Naturally, my body doesn't respond to the drugs the way it's supposed to prompting Dr Diehl to inform me that "it may be more difficult than just taking a pill and making things work". Naturally, we begin to question what we do now. Are we ready to go down this road? What if it works next month? What if it doesn't work for years? Through lots of prayer and conversation God placed a scripture on my heart that actually hangs on a wall in our house. "Many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails". Proverbs 19:21. God revealed to me the many times just in my relationship with Todd that He has worked things out in HIS timing, without any help from me. So we concluded we would begin this journey of infertility and see where the Lord takes us. This was certainly NOT in OUR plans. Had I not even taken a break from medications in January, we wouldn't even know all of this. We also feel that right now we are in a place where we 1. have excellent health insurance that covers A LOT of infertility treatments and 2. We can logically and rationally makes decisions that are not emotionally drivenBut we do and that can only be part of God's plan. We don't know if it will be short. We don't know if it will be long. We don't know if it will end with trying IVF or heading towards adoption. But we do know that we will trust the Lord and His guidance and ask that you simply pray with us and for us. Pray for God's will. Pray for patience with the process. Pray for Grace with each different drug that I take. I will do my best to update my blog. Please feel free to email or call if you have any specific questions. Especially those of you that have shared the same struggles.

So that's my heart. In a nut shell :) So where do we go from here you ask? I start Round 2 on a different drug called Femara on Monday and will likely also have a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) (sp?) possibly this Thursday to look at the inside of my insides to check for any other problems they may be missing.

I'll write a separate post about the HSG and what I think about Femara another day.

Thank you for reading this long post and welcome to a new place in my life. This hasn't been an easy road thus far and I fear the worst is yet to come. This whole process feels unnatural and when you live in a community of baby making machines it's sometimes a lonely place to be the one whose body doesn't work the way its supposed to.