Time to let the cat out of the bag

Several of my (very small group) of readers have noticed the drastic decline in my blogging. Yes, there is a reason and many of you already know because I wanted to make sure I actually TOLD you and you didn't read it on my blog or facebook (this is not facebook worthy yet either) but if you are in that unfortunate group that I have not personally talked to don't be offended, you're still ahead of the game.... I'm PREGNANT!!!


Pause for shock to settle. Take a deep breath ;)


As you know, my last appointment with Dr. Smith ended with her telling us it was way past time to move on to IVF. However, we had already started our last cycle for our 5th IUI, second with injectable meds and she said to finish the cycle and "pray for a miracle" because we only had about a 10% chance of it working. So pray we did. But we also got our finances in order (since we were going to be OOP for IVF), made our plans to travel to Denver the weekend of my birthday and made our appointments at our main RE's office. Fast forward to the week of the IUI. Everything went wrong. I had to stim 4 days longer because my ovaries, of course, were not responding. Todd's schedule (and mine) was a mess and we were stressing over whether or not the IUI was actually going to happen. Dr. Diehl was scheduled to be out of the clinic the day the IUI actually took place and he GRACIOUSLY came in JUST to do my IUI, even joking that he had "the most fertile women in the clinic" bless the sperm first. It was an emotional day. After an IUI you have to lay on the table for about 15minutes before leaving and after Dr. Diehl left the room I started crying and praying. I remember telling myself, and God that I was done. That I couldn't keep doing these IUI cycles. My body and mind were tired of the whole process. I put that cycle in God's hands and just asked for His will. We were prepared to move on to IVF if it failed and if that was His plan but I couldn't keep doing what we had been doing for the past 8 months. I felt horrible from the extra days of Gonal F and was very bloated/crampy for about 4 days after. I went about my 2 week wait as normal, not overdoing it but also not having a lot of hope either. I was ready to get it over with and move on. Then the week we'd find out came. I was going to Dallas on Thursday, only 13 days post IUI. I started testing on Monday, negative. I woke up Tuesday and tested, still expecting a negative and literally almost had a heart attack when I saw a faint but definite SECOND LINE! It took everything I had to keep calm, go to work and "patiently" wait until I could call Lyndee...who cried when I told her and said I made her day.  She ordered the HCG blood test and since I conveniently work at the hospital I just ran down to the lab at lunch and had my blood drawn.  The number came back at 34, which is "low" but at 11 days post IUI, not concerning low. She told me to repeat it on Thursday to make sure it doubled.  Literally 30 minutes before we left for the airport Lyndee called and said that the number was 131!! So then we waited 2 LONG weeks before we got to see Dr. Diehl and do an ultrasound. Seeing Dr Diehl and Lyndee, with Todd there, for an appointment that didn't include scanning my ovaries or adjusting my meds was amazing.  We laughed and joked and we saw one little bug with a perfect beating heart that looked like a lightening bug.  Everything looked perfect and we have continued in our cautious state of shock since.

So now you're probably asking yourself- when are you due? how far along are you? how are you feeling?
I'm 9 1/2 weeks along and due on November 6, 2011-my father in laws birthday.  I felt amazing from weeks 4-6. I had a ton of energy but was super hungry all the time and life went on as usual. Weeks 6-9 the nausea and food aversions set in as well as the fatigue. Now don't get me wrong, I AM NOT COMPLAINING!! When I say nausea...I mean if I didn't eat when I was hungry I got nauseated and was only able to eat very specific foods because the thought of some foods made me feel sick. I haven't thrown up (thank God!) When I say food aversions nothing has made me want to gag but some things I usually love just haven't sounded appetizing too me. Gum is the weirdest one! I usually chew gum because I have a fear of having bad breath around my patients but gum has made me want to gag so I suck on small pieces of candy. I've also had some headaches and have felt tired but I've told everyone that as long as I can make it through my day and can do what I need/want to do then I will not complain. It has been very manageable and I'm very thankful. This week I feel I'm turning the corner on the first trimester (knocks on wood) I'm still tired, and currently battling a cough/chest cold but am feeling 10x better overall so hopefully this is the upswing. Dr Diehl has given me the OK to keep running/working out as long as I'm not spotting, getting exhausted or getting dehydrated and I've been able to maintain my usual routine with no problems and feel so much better after a run.

God has proven to us once again that we are not in control and He is. Even dealing with infertility we tried to plan our IVF cycle around deployment and what would "work best for us". We're still not sure how deployment is going to work. Best case scenario, Todd will only deploy for half the time and be home in late October. Worse case scenario Todd will be sent home for about 2 weeks to be here for the birth but then will have to go back. I'm honestly not worried. God is faithful and has shown that time and time again  so I will just trust Him.

Well this blog is long enough. I promise I will start blogging more regularly now. We go to the doctor on Monday so I'll update about that. AND we planned a big Hawaiian vacation for May that I'll blog about another time!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your continuous love, support and prayers through this journey and your continued prayers through this pregnancy.

God listens and is still performing miracles!