We start our next cycle this week. Number 4
Another couple in our squadron today announced that they were pregnant....the first month they tried. Some people make it seem so easy. And then there is me. I have to take a total of 3 different hormone based medications to even have the slightest resemblance of a "normal" cycle, keep a daily log of what cycle day I'm on so I know when to take what, when to pee on what and when to do you know what while going to the OBGYN to have 3-5 ultrasounds a month to time things down to practically the precise hour that my over medicated ovaries decide to release an egg to wait 2 long weeks to be told, once again, it didn't work this time. It's such a feeling of failure that I can't really explain. I know getting pregnant takes time even when everything is working normal but when you have so much intervention you'd hope for more success than failure.
I wasn't even ready for all of this.
This wasn't our plan.
Sometimes I wish ignorance had just stayed bliss.
But His plan is greater than mine. His will is ultimate. And I will sit patiently in His grace, by His grace. And wait...
No comments:
Post a Comment